Companies That I Love But Which Have Pissed Me Off: Chili’s

Today in this column we visit Chili’s. I love Chili’s. Their buffalo chicken fajitas, mmm, so good. Nice selection of margaritas. And their burgers aren’t quite Red Robin level, but they’re pretty close, and that’s saying something.

They have pissed me off, though, by intentionally misleading their customers. During happy hour, they offer 2 for 1 Budweiser and Bud Light. I only rarely say no to a BOGO offer, or, for that matter, to a beer, so of course I’ve taken them up on this happy hour offer before.

Here’s the trick: their 2 for 1 mugs are half the volume of their normal mugs!

How did I not notice it sooner, I find myself asking. I compared their non-happy hour mug with a happy hour one, and they’re crafty. The happy hour mug is designed to appear larger than it is, with thick walls and base. You can clearly see the difference when putting them side by side, but who would ever do that?

Chili’s, you and Subway have let me down. You’ve betrayed my trust and loyalty. It will be a long, hard battle to win it back.

Crazy Dream I Had Last Night

I had a dream last night that my dog Hoss was actually a robot dog from another planet and that his battery was running out. He was dying. He had a fully developed human-like personality and could talk.

He had also been married to an Earth dog, but his husband dog had died years earlier. Hoss had a substantially longer lifespan than Earth dogs in the dream due to his being a robot. Oh, it was a gay marriage.

Before his husband died though, despite the fact that they were both male and one of them was a robot, they'd had a daughter, who seemed to be a girl Earth dog. She too had a human-like personality, and was herself married to a one foot tall Pakistani human man.

In her husband's culture, one's husband is to be one's spirit guide when one dies. Because Hoss's husband had already died, he was able, according to his beliefs, to serve as Hoss's spirit guide. When the time came and Hoss's battery was entirely depleted, his son-in-law lead him to a higher plane of existence.